Who Cares What Time It Is, We Have Each Other
American culture is quite different than Hispanic cultures, which are Latin in root. Obviously there are strengths and weaknesses between the two cultures. American culture is work-centered, and time is linear and a carefully divided. Hispanic culture is relationship-oriented, and time is organic and flexible. Of course, these are general observations only and there are always exceptions.
Our friends Hal and Cheryl took us to the top of some rugged, green El Salvadoran mountains to a restaurant hidden among the coffee plantations called Cabana de Aponeca. It was a long drive to get there and mostly on narrow, winding roads. We got out to stretch our legs. Flocks of green parrots, fluttered overhead, and iridescent blue and purple butterflies magically filled the air and hundreds of them were also sitting on the ground with wings folded together. It was supposed to be an afternoon trip and then we would return to Oscar and Pati's house for dinner. At least that was the plan.
We ordered colorful drinks of coconut, guava, lemon, orange, and talked and reminisced about old times. Hal and Cheryl were Americans who had lived in El Salvador for 25 years and had established a large, growing institute where people learn life skills, life principles, and values for living.
It was a privilege for me to be there to teach on the topics of finances, stewardship, planning, and micro-businesses and home businesses. As time went on, my son Caleb got very hungry, though we just had lunch several hours earlier. I reminded him that Oscar and Pati were having us over for dinner in a few hours.
You know, we Americans generally make a plan, stick to it, and watch the clock. If we are late to work and we see someone we know, the tendency is to quickly say "Hi", and say something like "I'm late for work, can't talk now." In America this is accepted as normal and they let us go. It says "work is more important than you right now." Time is a commodity. It is divided up, measured, plotted, and tracked. Time is "money" and we "live to work."
Our American values are quite different than Hispanic values, which are Latin in root. If I met a friend on the way to work then I'd have to stop and talk because the relationship is more important that the clock, or the next meeting. The relationship is the most highly valued commodity. It would be an insult to say "I can't talk because I have to go to work." Why? Because the message is interpreted as "You think your work is more important than me as a person" How differently we view the world. A late worker may not even be questioned, because everyone also agrees with the value that a relationship makes it OK to be late.
As we talked, Caleb got increasingly hungry. Hal got him a menu, and I thought we were making a special exception for him, but soon everyone was looking at menus! It took a lot of years for me to learn this cultural principle, and that is the quality time spent with important friends or family are more important that being to the next scheduled commitment. Our Outlook calendars would be used as guidelines, and would not rule over us to dictate our every minute. Time is not linear but it is organic and flows naturally, and promptness is based on the relationships and people you are with. It can be unacceptable to leave for another engagement before a natural ending time presents itself.
If you think Oscar and Pati were offended that we arrived very late, and not as hungry as we could have been, think again. They know this and it is acceptable to go with the flow and not be on time. In America, a late worker offends his boss and co-workers, and may be thought to be lacking in character, and had better have a good excuse. If we come late to a meeting, we apologize, and there are actually degrees of apologies needed, depending on how late you are! Being late by one, or two, or five, or ten, or twenty minutes warrants increasingly deeper degrees of apology. It can range from a sorry look or a verbal 'sorry', to a verbal 'I'm really sorry' or 'I am really sorry and here is why..." It is interesting to see that some people are not ruled by the clock or calendar, but by love or obligation to friends and family.
Obviously there are strengths and weaknesses in each system. One culture may sacrifice family relationships but efficiently manufacture anything under the sun and dominate the economic landscape. The other culture may foster close nuclear and extended family ties that not only define who they are but develops ties that becomes a strong social security safety net. One culture tends to have less-connected families and friends, and the other is has an economy that may plod along more slowly. Examining these differences may help each culture strengthen its inherent weaknesses.
Frequent trips to Latin America have made me re-evaluate work, relationships, and other values as an American. I believe I could use a little more time with friends and family, a little more relaxing at the coffee shop, and learning more of the art of conversation. But, it's important to stay relevant to the culture one lives in, and since I live in America I'll try to be on time for that dinner date. It helped me to also be more understanding when my Hispanic friends are late.
Here is some suggested reading:
Distant Neighbors - A Portrait of the Mexicans, by Alan Riding
The Germans, by Greg Nees
Au Contraire! The French, (another Latin culture...), By Gilles Asselin and Ruth Mastron
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